The joy of being wrong.

Earlier today I was having a wonderful conversation with a dear friend of twenty some odd years, who I’ve also worked with a lot over the last eight years, and a bit of our conversation inspired me to write. 

One of the many things that this friend let go of years ago was a deep-seated feeling that ‘being wrong’ was... well a threat to their life, it really was that intense for them. The freedom of letting that go was incredible. As we spoke of this they told me that they thought the flip side of it was they wanted to make other people wrong. Having known this person for many years and working with them in this way I was able to say, nope, that is not even a little bit true! I told them that I knew with 100% certainty that they truly did not like to hurt others, that they, in fact, loved to uplift and bring joy to others, and that told a very different story than the one they were telling themselves. They could not deny that they do love to uplift and bring joy and they were able to let go of that piece of old baloney, thankfully!

They are not the only person I’ve worked with who have had that fear of 'being wrong', that fear drives the feeling of needing to prove... well probably anything, really, right? I think we learn this in many areas of our life, that being ‘right’ is a goal that yields great rewards. That can be learned at school, from watching others, from positive reinforcement and negative reinforcement, it's so subtle. I think the only way to open it up and shift it in the world around us is to openly practice embracing being 'wrong' as much as being 'right', in the many ways it can show up as a gift to us. The times when being wrong was a happy surprise, or resolved an issue even!

I recently thought I had an issue with Comcast and spent hours on the phone with various agents who could not figure out why I was being overcharged. I finally had a friend offer to get on the phone with me so I could get to the bottom of this issue, what a blessing that was! Having her on there helped me feel steadier and more relaxed and I think it helped the guy drop the script and really listen. It also helped that he really knew his job and I was so grateful for that! It turned out it was my own mistake! He was the first person to see that I'd missed one of my bills and so there was no overcharge after all! I was so relieved and grateful and thanked him profusely and praised him for finding the issue for me! It turned the whole experience into a positive feeling and then he actually helped me get a better deal on my internet too, so it was a win in my book!

I can think of many many times in my life when I was intensely grateful to be totally fucking wrong, lol. I recently have thought to myself, wouldn’t it be wonderful if I am wrong about all of the things I believe that are not serving me and right about all of the things that are? I only want to be right about the things that will give me joy, that support my heart, that prove to me that love is the foundation of everything. Those things are the only things worth being right about, everything else... well those things can set the stage for me to feel wonderfully surprised, to be able to laugh at my silly inner critic when they’re proven to be inaccurate and to remind me yet again of the joy of being wrong! 😂💝

A short and winding road...

...from self-appreciation and forgiveness to freedom and a generous heart! lol

I just saw a post of someone offering beautiful amazing heart inspired action in the world and then I read a comment, "Why can't we all be like this girl?!" My first internal response was, "We can! There is nothing stopping us!" 

As I was contemplating the question that was posed though, just now... "Why can't we all be like that girl." A response came up from my heart, "For the very reason that you ask the question." When you appreciate and celebrate the wonderful beauty of inspired actions from the heart you honor them and that can inspire more of those actions in the world. Bringing the vibration of not enough, well... not as inspiring, lol.

But the thing is, thank goodness we aren't, that is for the best! If we were all like 'that girl' *insert the last beautiful inspired action you saw here*, if everything we did was beautiful inspired action from the heart, that would make those moments less amazing, less magical, and our world would become a dull place. In fact, we could not even have those moments if that were the case, and obviously, we all learn and grow from both our joyful and our painful experiences, as well as from times we were awesome, and times when we have been not so awesome... so maybe we are all in fact exactly 'like this girl', at just the right times for us and the people around us. 

And that way, we all get to have our own moments to shine! So I say, wouldn't it be amazing if we could all appreciate the times when we have been awesome and forgive ourselves for the times we haven't? And furthermore, let's forgive ourselves even if we don't feel like we have learned anything, why not forgive ourselves anyway, as a kindness. Maybe that is enough of a lesson, and it may even be what we were meant to learn all along. Forgiveness can be given as a gift, it does not necessarily have to be earned. And whoever we give it to, ourselves or others, we will feel freer and become more generous as a human. Because forgiveness is always a gift of freedom for the one who gives it and freedom gives the gift of a generous heart.

Contemplating the practice of consciously choosing our information intake.

I've been contemplating the practice of consciously choosing the information and perspectives that I connect with and the factors I use to decide. How it feels emotionally, heavy or light. Does it feel like love, solution, expansive, freedom? Is it helping me support what feels accurate and helpful in my own heart for me? Does it feel like freedom or does it feel confining? How is my body reacting to the information and what does that mean. For those of us that believe that everything is consciousness, that can really only be the one true fact because consciousness is 100% malleable, so everything that it creates is as well. Embracing that understanding changes the way we navigate. The emotions that any experience or information brings up can be shifted when the experience or information is reframed. That obviously will work in either direction, which is one reason that meditation can be very helpful. It teaches us to observe our thoughts without entangling ourselves in the story so we are able to see our patterns and decide what is still working for us, and what has become outdated and can be reframed and or released.

Consciously practicing reframing information towards lighter perspectives can be what some people call finding the silver lining, or even just realizing that our information or perspective could actually be totally wrong, or outdated. That is one reason that I love to find out that I am wrong about things, to have new information shift my own perception completely. That retrains my brain to let go of things that are no longer serving the momentum that I am wishing to keep in my life towards lighter, more fun, more easeful perspectives.

It can be very easy to open up to this when you realize that being wrong can be such a wonderful gift to us, right? It can be a happy surprise! I have worked with many people that have held the understanding that being wrong was a negative thing, that being right was always best. That is clearly learned behavior because it is obviously only the ego that cares about such things. The heart loves to learn, to grow, to be surprised and opened to new possibilities. So the heart loves to be ‘wrong’, ha ha ha. Obviously, there is no such thing as right or wrong on a higher level of understanding, but when being wrong can be a joyful experience and offer us the feeling of freedom when we find new information that feels right in the now. So being wrong is a beautiful thing!

Years ago I read about Buddha heads being cut off of statues in Asia by colonials, to make them easier to transport. What I read gave the impression that this was the only reason that Buddha heads existed. So for years, I had a bit of a weird and negative feeling about Buddha heads. I recently found out that is not true, that Buddha heads symbolize the Buddha’s enlightened state and the wisdom and wealth of knowledge that he attained. Yay for being wrong! Ha ha ha! I am not interested in information that opens me to fear but I will always welcome new information that gives me a more positive, fun and light perspective on anything!

It has been my experience that internal guidance and the enlightened beings that I have known do not tend to give warnings, plant seeds of fear, or point at anything we are not wanting in our lives. They might point out or bring to the surface fears we already have so that we may walk through them and overcome those fears. That is where practicing reframing really becomes incredibly helpful, ha ha ha. Reframing with humor is one of the best ways to lighten things up quickly. Finding the humor in any situation is a fantastic gift we can give ourselves. Think of Laughing Buddha, finding the humor in everything is incredibly powerful. It has been my experience that internal guidance always shows us where we are wanting to go. It shows us open doors, solutions, exciting new possibilities and redirects us using light and sparkle, rather than giving obstacles attention and focus. I know that I am hearing my internal guidance when I am in the throes of fear, and suddenly a lighter perspective explodes the darker one and gives me a wonderful laugh or burst of joy.

The momentum of higher perspectives is always from love and a deeper understanding of the nature of reality. The higher perspectives are obviously more planted in the knowledge of the play of consciousness, of the illusion, the maya, the vibrational nature of our world. The vibrational nature of our world makes it completely malleable, vibrating energy is not stuck, it is not solid. Solid is an illusion that we enjoy, it helps us experience our world more fully. It helps us play and learn and feel the confinement that then gives us the wonderful experience of freedom! And that is why the only truth is that everything is simultaneously true and not true. And that is why information is only as useful as it’s ability to support our chosen experiences, our goals, our dreams, our heart journeys.

That is why I try to be aware of the information and perspectives that I open myself up to and to find a way to either politely walk away, or set a boundary if necessary. If I find myself dealing with something that is creating fear I will work to reframe it, to find a silver lining or perspective that releases the fear. At times I have even been able to flip information completely, into information that actually shows me the true nature of the world as I see it… Love. When I am able to do that, it is the most wonderful experience of all. It is my understanding and experience that Divine Grace is pure consciousness, everything is made of consciousness and Divine Grace is Love, so everything is Love. That understanding gives me the ability to find my way through very difficult experiences and find my way back to my heart.

Again, that is why meditation and various present moment practices can be so useful. Being able to pause, observe our thoughts and emotions in the moment helps us figure out which information feels like it is supporting us, supporting our hearts. It actually helps us to get to know our own hearts, to find out what inspires us and gives us actual joy. Boundaries are incredibly useful in this world where we all are so excited to share our experiences and perspectives with each other. That is a beautiful and wonderful desire, however, our experiences and perspectives will not serve everyone the way that they serve us. Understanding that brings so much freedom to us, to our relationships and to our world. When we understand this, communication can be so much simpler, in both directions. Judging ourselves and others, and also taking things personally becomes more and more silly when we genuinely understand this, and that right there is such a wonderful freedom! Finding silliness can be the most wonderful cure for so many issues in life, ha ha ha.

Ok, I guess that is my piece for today so… peace out everyone! Love and silliness to all y’all.

Listen for the joyful noise!

Listen for the joyful noise that is coming from your own heart! It's there, it really is. Anytime that we feel confused in our lives, we can take a moment to breathe and feel inside for the heart perspective. "What is my heart saying?" is the most useful question I will ever ask myself at any given moment. All inspiration comes from our own hearts, and it always feels light, like love, solution, playful humor and compassion.

The most important and powerful goal I feel that I wish for everyone is for all of us to be able to hear our own heart and to trust what we hear. If we are going to err, it is far far better to err on the side of trusting our own inner guidance, always. And the beautiful thing about that is that when we own that, fully own it, then we understand that we cannot know what is best for others, right? Funny how that works. ;-) <3

I promise you, it really is true that no other person can hear what is best for you, or anyone who is listening in their own heart. So get in there and start to figure out what is in your own heart, it may not be easy, but it is the key to everything. There are many awesome teachers out there that can help, I bet if you look around and listen for the joyful noise in your own heart, you will find just the right ones for you!

Contemplating Kindness

Kindness seems to be a bit of a theme this week, I love it. I feel like this meme from Byron Katie generally sums up my feelings about it but I felt like adding my two cents anyway, as I often do, ha ha ha. MwwwaaAH!

To me, kindness is really just love, and like abundance, love always wants to share itself. When you make love a life goal, beginning with loving and accepting yourself, and working towards living more and more in your heart, kindness is a bi-product of that work. I especially feel like a champion of love when I feel genuine kindness towards someone who has felt like a challenge in my life. For me, understanding that love and happiness always want to share themselves makes it easier to see a challenging person with love. Happy people wish for everyone to feel happy. People who feel loved, want everyone to feel loved. When I remember this, it becomes easier not to take unkindness personally, and to work towards meeting it with kindness.

Kindness to me isn't necessarily about taking care of others, physically or emotionally, it can be, but sometimes it's just about trying to see the best in people whether you like them or not. It can mean having compassion and accepting people wherever they are at, sometimes from afar, and wishing for the best for them. Sometimes it means keeping one's mouth zipped and staying the hell away from them, ha ha ha. I am always working on speaking from my heart, and with honesty, but also with discretion around what I choose to say, or not say... pausing and asking myself is this useful? Am I pushing an agenda or speaking from my heart?

Sometimes, for me, kindness really is about keeping a healthy boundary. If I feel that my presence, actions or words are not wanted or valued, or if I feel taken advantage of, or any kind of resentment, it's best to step away, clean my own internal shit up and then assess whether to talk it out or if it's best to simply offer love and light from afar. Kindness without boundaries, or showing kindness towards others at the expense of kindness to our own sweet self, well that is really just codependence, which I have found does not often end well, lol.

What is kind in any given situation really depends on the individual situation in that moment but, imho, genuine kindness always comes from the heart, it feels like inspiration, and it gives space to whoever needs it. Love, love and more love to all y'all.